I am the mother of MICRO Preemies....you want to know how you can tell?

You will see the sparkle in my eyes every time they accomplish even the smallest of milestones. You will hear the love and joy in my voice when I see them after walking away for only moments....almost like a mother that had to walk away too many nights empty handed.

*You will also feel the cool sensation of the hand sanitizer before you even know its coming.*

Its amazing the difference between having a perfectly healthy newborn and having a 26 weeker. With Ricky and Reese I look at the small things. Did Reese grab both toys in both hands? Did Ricky just bang those two toys together? Check and check. The small things that most parents don't even notice are things that some of us have come to cherish.

I watched them learn to suck, swallow, breathe (remember that?). I literally watched what would normally be considered a fetus, grow right in front of my very eyes.

I look at these perfect little babies in AWE. They are so strong and so amazing. In 3 months they went through more than most of us have been through in a lifetime.

So...if you see me post a thousand facebook updates or get ten texts from me about how they are now looking to the left now or they can recognize names....know that they are still fighting each day with some of the cards they were dealt. I know in the future they may have delays because they were born with Grade 3 brain bleeds but for now THEY ARE RIGHT ON TIME.

Thank you Ricky and Reese for showing mommy how to stay strong and how to fight with everything I have. You truly light up the dark.

Let the races begin!! THEY CAN CRAWL!!!

The gate between the dining and living. HAHA. LOVE THIS GATE!!

My life will never be the same! They are now CRAWLING!!! Ricky was the first to start on Thursday and Reese followed the next day! We spent the day shopping for BABY PROOFING items so that we I will survive the next couple of years. Seeing these boys on the move is the cutest thing in the world! They look like little puppies or baby horses learning to walk for the first time.

The physical therapist said the goal was a year to crawl and GUESS WHAT?? They are 10 months!!! We did it!!! (Now can we slow down...mommy needs to catch up)

P.S. Yes I used cords to bait you both into crawling on camera. I will do worse im sure. :-)

Our FIRST Mothers of Multiples Playgroup!!

Our first SAAMOM Playgroup! It was hosted by Sarah Little who also has two identical boys. I convinced Anna that we needed to go after Angie convinced me. Anywho... we were going! We decided to carpool since gas prices are INSANE right now. I picked up Anna, Gage and Emily....I literally felt like a bus driver. haha. They were soooo cute!



Front: Gage and Emily Back : The Brats :-)

When we got there is took FOREVER to unload the babies and ALL of the items needed. We looked like clowns at the circus. The playdate was indoor/outdoor so we naturally brought one of EVERYTHING...or two.

Tons of little ones crawling, walking (one) and 2 laying. It was ADORABLE!! I have never seen so many babies in one small space! They were babbling, stealing toys and crawling over eachother. Most of the babies were dressed matching with their twin so it wasnt too hard to tell who was with who. After the craziness started we just started grabbing babies and helping them with whatever they wanted/needed. No idea whos baby but it takes a village right?


We moved outside to a GORGEOUS backyard and talked while the babies ate and played. It was a great experince!

Until all of the babies got sick cause a mom brought her snotty baby...









This was at the beginning before they all got there!



Ayear ago today I was told my baby girl was going to die..

Today was my first milestone from the past year. All week it has been lurking behind me and sneaking up at my weak moments. I play that day over and over in my head. I was so excited to go to my doctors appointment. They were all great at this point because every single time I got a sonogram and saw the most beautiful babies playing together. My babies. This trip was really special because I was taking Tiana with me to see them for the first time. The sonogram before was the "we THINK its a girl". They thought and I knew. Before we got in there I said " I really hope they don't find a penis on her"... famous last words. After what always seemed like an eternity and a quiet nurse, my doctor came in. I was expecting the usual "they look perfect and are growing big" but it wasn't that talk. She told me that my first and only daughter had only a few weeks to live. That she was not getting enough blood through her cord. I have never in my life felt like I did hearing those words. Things like that just don't happen to me. Why didn't she get that? I quit smoking the day I found out I was pregnant, I didn't drink caffeine, I was perfect when it came to the care of this pregnancy. Really. Why me? Why her? I found out that once the baby passes away I would keep her inside of me. That I would be at risk for premature labor and a list of all kinds of other things.

In the hallway outside I collapsed. The agony of it-unbearable. Once I composed myself, I headed out to the parking garage. I remember hearing Tiana tell Patrick "I have never seen her like this." I ended up calling a triplet mom that I knew through a friend. Shaunna. Poor Shaunna. We had never before exchanged words on the phone, only through facebook. I called her while I was crying and freaking out. She sat on the phone with me and just keep talking until I calmed down. I knew she would understand what it was like to have 3 babies inside of you and love them so desperately.

I went home and called my OB/GYN. He was the same dr I used to deliver Cameron and at the time I trusted him. I made an appointment for the following day because I needed a second opinion. I went alone to the appointment (I have no idea why I was that stupid) but I really thought he would give me hope. Make me feel better. Tell me that it was all a big mistake. No. He confirmed what she said and went into more detail. Again, I walked out of there, this time alone. I started crying so loud that people were turning around and I fell onto the floor. I guess this is about the time that I started trying to make deals with God. I would have done anything. 

She lived past the couple of weeks they gave her. And she kept living. Week after week they were telling me she would die and week after week we proved them wrong. On June 16th, 8 weeks after that appointment, my baby girl went to heaven. I know now that she fought because she had to save her brothers. If she would have passed away when they suspected, my Ricky and Reese would not be asleep right now in the next room. I thank her everyday for that gift. She isn't just my baby, she is my hero.