I find myself tonight in a full house that everyone but me is sleeping in. This week/month/year has been so emotionally exhausting...the only way I think I keep it together is that I am so busy I dont have time to stop. And think. Like tonight.
My mind is constantly thinking of the past. The future. The what if's. The why me. The why her.
I can't live there though. I can't linger there too long.
I am the mother of 5. I have to keep going and stay strong. I can't make them live in her shadow. In my dreams. Its not fair.
So I will give myself tonight. And any other nights I am left alone. And I will leave it there. I will try.