Our FIRST Mothers of Multiples Playgroup!!

Our first SAAMOM Playgroup! It was hosted by Sarah Little who also has two identical boys. I convinced Anna that we needed to go after Angie convinced me. Anywho... we were going! We decided to carpool since gas prices are INSANE right now. I picked up Anna, Gage and Emily....I literally felt like a bus driver. haha. They were soooo cute!



Front: Gage and Emily Back : The Brats :-)

When we got there is took FOREVER to unload the babies and ALL of the items needed. We looked like clowns at the circus. The playdate was indoor/outdoor so we naturally brought one of EVERYTHING...or two.

Tons of little ones crawling, walking (one) and 2 laying. It was ADORABLE!! I have never seen so many babies in one small space! They were babbling, stealing toys and crawling over eachother. Most of the babies were dressed matching with their twin so it wasnt too hard to tell who was with who. After the craziness started we just started grabbing babies and helping them with whatever they wanted/needed. No idea whos baby but it takes a village right?


We moved outside to a GORGEOUS backyard and talked while the babies ate and played. It was a great experince!

Until all of the babies got sick cause a mom brought her snotty baby...









This was at the beginning before they all got there!



Ayear ago today I was told my baby girl was going to die..

Today was my first milestone from the past year. All week it has been lurking behind me and sneaking up at my weak moments. I play that day over and over in my head. I was so excited to go to my doctors appointment. They were all great at this point because every single time I got a sonogram and saw the most beautiful babies playing together. My babies. This trip was really special because I was taking Tiana with me to see them for the first time. The sonogram before was the "we THINK its a girl". They thought and I knew. Before we got in there I said " I really hope they don't find a penis on her"... famous last words. After what always seemed like an eternity and a quiet nurse, my doctor came in. I was expecting the usual "they look perfect and are growing big" but it wasn't that talk. She told me that my first and only daughter had only a few weeks to live. That she was not getting enough blood through her cord. I have never in my life felt like I did hearing those words. Things like that just don't happen to me. Why didn't she get that? I quit smoking the day I found out I was pregnant, I didn't drink caffeine, I was perfect when it came to the care of this pregnancy. Really. Why me? Why her? I found out that once the baby passes away I would keep her inside of me. That I would be at risk for premature labor and a list of all kinds of other things.

In the hallway outside I collapsed. The agony of it-unbearable. Once I composed myself, I headed out to the parking garage. I remember hearing Tiana tell Patrick "I have never seen her like this." I ended up calling a triplet mom that I knew through a friend. Shaunna. Poor Shaunna. We had never before exchanged words on the phone, only through facebook. I called her while I was crying and freaking out. She sat on the phone with me and just keep talking until I calmed down. I knew she would understand what it was like to have 3 babies inside of you and love them so desperately.

I went home and called my OB/GYN. He was the same dr I used to deliver Cameron and at the time I trusted him. I made an appointment for the following day because I needed a second opinion. I went alone to the appointment (I have no idea why I was that stupid) but I really thought he would give me hope. Make me feel better. Tell me that it was all a big mistake. No. He confirmed what she said and went into more detail. Again, I walked out of there, this time alone. I started crying so loud that people were turning around and I fell onto the floor. I guess this is about the time that I started trying to make deals with God. I would have done anything. 

She lived past the couple of weeks they gave her. And she kept living. Week after week they were telling me she would die and week after week we proved them wrong. On June 16th, 8 weeks after that appointment, my baby girl went to heaven. I know now that she fought because she had to save her brothers. If she would have passed away when they suspected, my Ricky and Reese would not be asleep right now in the next room. I thank her everyday for that gift. She isn't just my baby, she is my hero.  

10 months old today and it ended with....

The day started like most of their special "birthdays". I ran into their room when I heard them wake up and started yelling "its your 10 month birthday babies"...and they giggle and the day starts. These monthly milestones are soooo important after all they went through at the beginning. When I think about the fact that I have only had Ricky home with me for 7 months...wow.

We had our 9 month checkup scheduled for this morning. I called 2 weeks before they were 9 months old but I guess my dr is really popular. We got all dressed and cleaned up and heaed out to meet daddy at the doctor. I decided to carry them in without carriers or a stroller. HAHA. That sucked. (remind me not to do it for awhile) As we are waiting for Patrick, of course a woman tries to touch the babies and I had to jump up and ask her to not touch the babies. The whole waiting room looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe they are right. I dont care...get someone elses baby sick.

The appointment went GREAT!! The boys are gaining like they should, reaching all of their milestones and were flirting the WHOLE time with the Dr. :-)

Daddy got us these shirts!

 We came home after the appointment and played all day. I thought it would be nice to get out of the house and go eat somewhere so as soon as Patrick got home we headed out. We were driving around and decided to stop at Cracker Barrel. I have never been there for dinner so we decided to try. Again, started out great...UNTIL..... REESE!!!

The child has my heart and as I write this, I have a smile thinking about what a little stinker he is. First he started the "stiff as a board" pose because he wanted to be held. Then he went to throwing everything around. Next and the WORST.... he has a habit of throwing up anything he doesn't like the texture of, the size of, if you aren't giving enough attention, etc....the potatoes were toast. Usually I can distract him when he starts up by singing the ABC's but I made the fatal mistake of wanting a bite of food.

The table looked like a hurricane came through. Hurricane Dunk was at least a 4.8 on the scale. I looked at the floor and hughchairs when we got up and my jaw dropped! I started grabbing wipes from the diaper bag and trying to clean. There were not enough wipes in WALMART to fix this one. I ended up giving the waitress a tip and trying to give the bus boy an additional tip. I wonder how long it will take before the memory is burned out of my brain....




They look so sweet.... the horns are hidden under the hair of the baby in the blue...



They are now in bed. You would think after this night I would be glad. I actually can't wait until the morning to see those two gorgeous smiles. XOXO God made them cute for a reason...

The March of Dimes walk

The March of Dimes walk is in less than 2 weeks. I am so excited, I know it seems weird. I will be walking with my NICU friends and also a few friends I have made along the way. We are walking for our babies. Our babies born still, some passed away because they were born too soon and the others like Ricky and Reese that were in the NICU for too long. I think about these babies everyday. My friends are their mothers. Their mother is also...me. There is one friend in particular that I am dying to see again. We met in December at a memorial for babies that were lost. I knew that night when we stayed up texting all night that she would be in my life for a purpose. I hope that her belly is swollen from the beautiful baby that she is carrying. Until then ladies...

Twins at the grocery store- Its like they were a ZOO attraction!

Patrick and I braved taking the babies to the store. We have only tried it one time before and that time, it was a COMPLETE meltdown! This time we took 2.5 hours and the WHOLE time we were stopped. I am still a bit of a germ freak so everytime I heard someone say "twin" I went the other way! Haha.

I think they are the cutest babies alive so I understand the desire to touch them. :-) I feel so rude because I try not to make too much conversation or seem too friendly because people always try to touch them when I do.

Ricky is in the yellow and Reese is in blue :-)

This pic shows Reese's personality!

Babies first time swimming!

I found an adorable baby pool at HEB the other night while shopping. Its a fish with a cover- perfect for the munchkins! I called my neighbor Morgan for some "backup" and the babies were ready to go. They had a BLAST!! They love the bath so I had a feeling the pool would be a hit.

It was wonderful seeing them have such a great time! They are growing so fast. Seeing new experiences through their eyes has been AMAZING.

Having a rough couple of days

This week it seems that Robbie is on my mind more than ever. I am so blissfully happy with my family and with the gorgeous weather but there is always something missing. I miss feeling whole. I know that it will never be the same for me as it was but I just wish that I could fully enjoy the good times without thinking of losing my precious baby girl.

In the last couple of months I have had some outside pressures from "friends" about how i'm not coping. At least enough for them. I honestly think
I am doing pretty good! I adore my boys and enjoy them so much. I just have a couple of down moments when I think of all that has happened.

I have also heard that I have checked out on life and hide behind my children. Ummm, anyone who has 5 kids: one who just passed, two that were in the NICU for 3 months and the other two CRAVING my attention, I dont believe has checked out. I think I am finally LIVING and trying to play catch up with the most imporatant people in my life. My family.

This year has really shown me who my true friends are. I am so grateful to those who have shown their true colors. And for that other one...well, good luck in life. Your going to need it.