This week it seems that Robbie is on my mind more than ever. I am so blissfully happy with my family and with the gorgeous weather but there is always something missing. I miss feeling whole. I know that it will never be the same for me as it was but I just wish that I could fully enjoy the good times without thinking of losing my precious baby girl.
In the last couple of months I have had some outside pressures from "friends" about how i'm not coping. At least enough for them. I honestly think
I am doing pretty good! I adore my boys and enjoy them so much. I just have a couple of down moments when I think of all that has happened.
I have also heard that I have checked out on life and hide behind my children. Ummm, anyone who has 5 kids: one who just passed, two that were in the NICU for 3 months and the other two CRAVING my attention, I dont believe has checked out. I think I am finally LIVING and trying to play catch up with the most imporatant people in my life. My family.
This year has really shown me who my true friends are. I am so grateful to those who have shown their true colors. And for that other one...well, good luck in life. Your going to need it.
You are doing a great job and anyone that can't see that needs to be slapped in the face! Love you girl! -Tracy
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