Robbie became an angel

June 16th I had a scheduled apointment with my regular OB/GYN. The day before was my birthday and we spent the day swimming and enjoying virgin margaritas. I had not felt Robbie kick but kept it to myself because the thought of my baby girl passing away on my birthday was just too much to handle. When we went in the Dr looked for her on the portable machine and couldn't find anything. He moved us into another room with a better machine and several minutes later he informed us that her heart had stopped. I can't describe that feeling. I failed to protect her and provide for her. How could I have let my child die?

She made it to 25 weeks which was 11 days before the boys came into the world. There is never a day that I don't thank God for letting me having her. I didn't know that kind of love was possible in that short of a time.

June 10th- Bad turn

Through research I knew that Robbie Nicole was ok as long as her condition did not "reverse". I went to the specialist today and that was the news. I knew it was only a matter of time. If I was just a little further along...

22 weeks- Pic

22 weeks...

May 4th. The day my heart broke.

May 4th started out like any other sonogram day. I was sooo excited to see my babies and this time I was taking Tiana for the first time. My biggest worry was that somehow my baby girl would grow a "tail". During the scan the nurse got really quiet as they typically do when something just isn't right. I asked her over and over if something was wrong. I got the standard "the Dr will talk to you as soon as I am done" answer but her eyes were telling me the story. The Dr explained that my only daughter was dying. They gave her just two short weeks to live. I just couldn't believe it. This was my baby girl. My daughter. She was diagnosed with absent end diastolic velocity. Not getting enough blood to her heard from her cord. Not only was my daughter going to die but she would die inside of her own mother. My body was failing my child. As we walked out of the office I let out a scream and fell to my knees. I couldn't believe that I was given such a rare gift to only have it taken away. I begged and pleaded with God to let me keep her. I made deals and promises. I would have done anything asked of me to just keep her alive. It was out of my hands.

I decided the next morning that we needed to get baptized. I had never been Baptized and I needed to feel the safety of His arms around me during this journey. CBC held an emergency baptism just for me on May 6th. A large group of my closest friends showed up to Pray for my baby girl. I was humbled by how many people were already in love with her. She changed so many lives in her 25 weeks of life. Every life has a purpose.

The BEST baby shower EVER!!! May 2nd, 2010

Being the paranoid person I am, I talked Tiana into throwing me a baby shower REALLY early in the pregnancy. I was terrified of bed rest early in the pregnancy and wanted to make sure everything was perfect and ready when the babies arrived. It was a Sunday and we had it at Hidden Lake Apts clubroom. I had the most AMAZING hosts! Tiana, Leslie, Bethann, April and Lisa pulled out all of the stops for me. I am so blessed to have such beautiful friends!
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Leslie is sooo creative!

We are very blessed!

Our family....before :-)

April came up with this! They were a HIT!!

ITS A GIRL!! Im finally getting a GIRL!! ( Great pics of the boys too)

April 19th Baby A decided to show HER girlie parts! I was literally floating on air when I found out I was going to have a daughter. :-)

Shes so beautiful

The boys put on a show too.... Baby B was living up to his reputation... the WOMB BULLY!!!

The infamous laughing picture of Baby B..he kicked his sister and then smiled!

Baby C Profile

Baby B

BABY LELAND IS HERE!!!

April 14th, 2010 I was pacing the floor to go see my new nephew!! He was so cute and little and I was in love! Erica was in a little pain and Leland went potty so Aunt Margie and Uncle Pat had to remember how to change a diaper. ON A NEWBORN!! It took us FOREVER but we got it done. What an amazing day!